human consciousness is a shackle (+???)

from fata morgana by nox

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lyrics

everyday i wake up i can barely hear myself
i start damaging my internals when most people would get help
nothing that i cope with benefits me for my health
the only person that might understand my problems is myself
filing,
my nails i just start dieting,
not eating or not smiling,
existence is so tiring,
my shackles they start tightening,
the future is so blinding,
but how can i silence this hindering thought process that makes me violent.

scratching my goosebumps thinking will i meet my death
or will i grow up as another junkie smoking meth
my heart is racing my own suffering seems so uncertain
the final act is done my eyesight is the closing curtains

light shows darkness...
light. shows. darkness.
light shows darkness?
light... shows... darkness.

my own protection is the loyalty of my affection,
but when the dirt is in my veins, i just become aggressive
come from recession i see light my own progression
when things are moving forward i just get to second guessing

why am i crying? emotions overcoming me
thought i was strong, but am i really if i'm crumbling?
i am so mindless for thinking i could go off to college
just to meet some new people and start anew
how dumb of me.